Random Quotes

I don't remember if there use to be a thread like this. But, as the title says, here you can post AS MANY random posts as you want! (You don't need to type where you got it from.)

Pi R squared Nooo! Pie R round, cornbread R square!

Avoid hangovers: Stay drunken.

Black holes really suck...

Barium: What you do to dead chemists.

RUNTIME ERROR 6D at 417A: 32CF: Incompetent user

Adults are just kids who owe money.

Reality.Sys corrupted -- Reboot Universe (Y/N)?

Warning: Dates in Calendar are closer than they appear.

MONEY TALKS ... but all mine ever says is GOODBYE!

The light at the end of the tunnel is the light of an oncoming train.

You cant have everything...where would you put it?

Ive seen better conversations in alphabet soup.

Did you ever notice when you blow in a dogs face he gets mad at you? But when you take him in a car he sticks his head out the window.

If one synchronized swimmer drowns, do the rest have to drown too?

Windows isn't a virus... Viruses do something...

Error 763 - Hard disk not ready, close door.

Macho Law forbids me from admitting I'm wrong.

Reality is that part of the imagination we all agree on.

What on earth is a free gift? Aren't all gifts free?

C program run, C program crash, C programmer cry.

WindowError:01F Reserved for future mistakes.

Ive always wanted to be somebody, but I should have been more specific.

96.7% of all statistics are made up.

Hey, whats that beeping noise? Wheres that smoke coming from?

I am dangerous when I know what I'm doing.

Two wrongs don't make a right, but three rights make a left.

Therapy is expensive, popping bubble wrap is cheap. You choose.

So many lawyers, so few bullets.

Multitasking: Reading in the bathroom

I'm still trying to figure out why kamikaze pilots wore helmets.

If at first you don't succeed, destroy all evidence that you tried.

The truth is out there? Anyone know the URL?

Calm down. its only ones and zeros.

Delete the "Systems32" folder for unlimited access to this system.

Windows Error: 003 - Operator fell asleep while waiting.

Windows: Something that comes with the mouse you bought.

As easy as 1, 2, 3.1415926535897932384626433832795028841

Teamwork is essential. It allows you to blame someone else.

Windows: Proof that God has a sense of humor.

Suburbia: where they tear out the trees & then name streets after them.

In a Non-smoking Area: If we see smoking we will assume you are on fire and take appropriate action.

Computers make very fast, very accurate mistakes.

Winning isn't everything, but losing isn't anything.

Half of the people in the world are below average.

There are 3 kinds of lies: lies, damn lies & statistics

Have you ever noticed? Anybody going slower than you is an idiot, and anyone going faster than you is a maniac.

Always glad to share my ignorance - Ive got plenty.

OS/2? Whats that? Half of an Operating System?

Back up my hard disk? I cant find the reverse switch!

Humor is just another defense against the universe.

If at first you don't succeed, call it Ver (1.0)

Gravity doesn't exist. Earth sucks.

The best defense against logic is stupidity.

Really get stoned, drink wet cement.

A cubicle is just a padded cell without a door.

Everybody wants to go to heaven, but nobody wants to die.

There are a lot more... But I'm too tired right now.

"I'm going to count to five"
"Well I'm going to count to three!"(puting gun on chest)

Woot! TransFormers!

Ya. We just watched it.
Do you think I should get the game? for PSP?or PS2?

Nah, the game sucks compared to the movie. The only fun part is the transforming...

1. ninja

I gathered some facts about them:

Ninja don't sweat.

Bullets can't kill a ninja.

Ninja invented skateboarding

Only a ninja can kill a ninja. Regular humans are useless.

Ninja never wear headbands with the word "ninja" printed on them.

Ninja can breath underwater anytime they want.

Ninja can change clothes in less than 1 second.

Ninja don't smoke, but they do use smoke bombs.

Ninja always land on their feet. If they don't have feet they will land on their nubs.

Ninja invented the internet.

Ninja don't eat or drink very much, and they never have to go to the bathroom.

Ninja always move to America when making a new start as a non-assassin.

Ninja don't play sports. Unless killing is a sport.

Ninja can crush golfballs with 2 fingers, any two fingers.

Ninja have a bad temper when they lose at anything. They will usually cut off the winners head before they have time to gloat.

Ninja lie all the time. Even when the truth serves better, ninja will lie anyway.

Ninja swords are always straight with a square handle guard. Always. Curves are for girls.

Lack any personality

Wear headbands

Fight skillfully with any object

Can remove a spleen in one swift motion

Live in your house secretly for days

Can remove their shadow if needed

Hurl shurikens

Go anywhere they want instantly

Catch bullets in their teeth

Kill themselves if they make a noise

Can run 100 miles on their hands

Train 20 hours/day starting from age 2

Have cool words like Seppuku

Are masters of disguise

Can hover for hours

Flip out and kill everything

Are completely self-sufficient.

Split planks vertically with their nose

Can hide in incense smoke

Kill people.

Ninjas are the best guitar players. Ever.

Ninjas do NOT wear spandex.

A Samurai is NOT a ninja.

Dragon Ball Z characters are NOT ninjas.

If you see a ninja, he is NOT a ninja.